So last night after writing up the day’s events I found out that you can buy barn owls to keep as pets in the UK. Although it’s recommended that you don’t bother – very bad and silly idea, and if you really must go through with it, get a rescue one. Although if I’m ever rich enough to have a barn I’ll certainly put a nesting box there so that a wild one can move in.
Today has been frustrating. A nice early start meant I got to school in around 40 minutes; the bus used to take just over an hour, but the bus also didn’t go over 148mph on the way there.
Unfortunately I couldn’t get in. The school appears to now be owned by a complete arsehole and there’s barbwire, big gates and stern signs. So I took a photograph and moved on. Except I couldn’t get in there either.
This time it was because, “Someone is living here.” That and, “You can’t come in.” was the only English the female guard spoke. I acknowledged this constraint but didn’t move off as I was looking through the gate, so she told me again, “You can’t come in.” Luckily I didn’t give her a reply, it could only have led to me getting arrested. Lets just say that it’s easy to see how some Germans could become concentration camp guards.
What I did tell her is that I could see the house I used to live in. It’s still there, looking in decent nick – they’ve cleaned it up a bit for the asylum seekers, which is probably a good thing. Sadly it meant I couldn’t revisit old haunts, or my old school there.
Instead I popped onto the autobahn and headed mostly south. ish. My schedule entirely coincidentally brought me to one of Germany’s premier tourist towns on a sunny Sunday, and it was hell. Bloody tourists everywhere.
Koblenz did throw up a surprise for me, just behind Deutches Eck. 600km from it I thought I’d be safe, but as I turned the corner my brain instinctively went, “That looks like the wall.” It is.
That hurt. Guess I’m still not over that one then. This reminds me, must get to Berlin later this year. There’s a gate I still haven’t walked under.
There was an eis cafe there, so I stopped for breakfast 😉
Germans are a strange breed. They aren’t as carefree and relaxed as the Dutch individually but curiously seem to be as a state. Take urban areas, the Dutch have horrific parking constraints and even ban bicycles from some areas. The Germans seem to take the approach that if your car fits it’s welcome, and you get people driving down pedestrian areas then just parking up by the river and getting out. There’s this curious relationship between their very rules driven society and a sense of permissiveness that allows. Germany is apparently highly litigious, so maybe they keep quiet until they unleash the lawyers.
They do though definitely have a sense of humour. Waiting in the hotel for the lift earlier, I got caught out by it being less empty than I’d anticipated and had to step aside to allow a large man out. No words were spoken but his body language was, “Arsehole, stop blocking the lift” and mine was big “Yeah, I know I fucked up, but what are you going to do about it?” grin. As always the grin causes a wry smile and I get away with it.
11pm, get back from a quick photography trip and skim up to the top floor to see if it’s open. Nope, not even any lights there – luckily I had my camera bag on me, which meant access to a good torch, so I was moving around the top floor by torchlight admiring the view. As you do, in a large hotel. Got the lift back down to my room and as the door opened on my floor, there stood the angry German square in the doorway. He and I both paused, caught each other’s eye and immediately started laughing. Self awareness, humour and he moved aside.
But back to Koblenz. Curiously there was an old Ferrari in the multistory carpark, then three more Ferraris and a Lamborghini drove past while I was sat outside the kebab shop eating lunch.
This has confirmed that Lamborghinis are bought only by men needing to compensate for something. Ferraris: gentle burble as they go past. Lambo: Rumble, rev, whine, rev. It’s nearly as bad as the eunuchs I kept seeing on motorbikes, that can’t sit at a traffic light without revving their engines.
The kebab shop was a required part of my visit to Germany. Doner, falafel and chips served by a man that couldn’t have looked more Turkish if he’d been called Mustafa Kemal. He spoke good English, which is how I found out that doner meat in Germany isn’t made from bits of alleged lamb at all: It’s beef!
It was also jolly nice, and 7EUR worth was more than I could fit inside me.
I’m disappointed that the forecast thunder storm didn’t turn up at 7pm. I was all ready and everything. Although sitting outside for dinner got alarmingly windy; the brollies didn’t feel completely secure. Dinner tonight was at the local Waldhaus, which has a strong focus on its customers’ preferred form of dinner..
Mine is a zigeuner schnitzel, which apparently comes with self-served salad from the buffet. Since lunch was quite large I chose to be responsible and skip the additional calories that might cause.
Yes, that is something approaching half a pig on a plate. Tasted exceedingly nice too. Managed to get through ordering ice cream with hot raspberries without either of us resorting to English too, except the part where she told me they had no ice cream.. She meant vanilla, so we compromised on chocolate ice cream with hot raspberries, which they should just add to the menu. By far the better option. Someone needs to introduce this hot fruit and ice cream thing to the UK, it’ll work wonders on getting kids to eat their five a week.
Speaking of sustenance, I’ll need to find a shop tomorrow. Water supplies are running low – may make it through the night, but certainly not the next three days. It doesn’t help that there’s a scary amount of sand being blown about. 15 minutes sat on the hotel room balcony left a visible layer on everything I brought out with me.
On day 6 of my holiday and not driven in the dark since leaving the UK. When you’re near Koblenz that has to change; the Rhine, the Mosel and castles overlooking both are lit up at night. This artistic abstract is my mobile phone’s interpretation of one of the castles.
Lets just say that the image in my proper camera is a little sharper and lacks the interesting motion blur.
I didn’t get the photo of Koblenz I wanted. Found the right hill, found a route to the top, but also found a forest in the way. The right vantage point is the top of the wall of the fortress there, and that was shut. People have been fortifying that bit of hill for around 5000 years so although I’m not saying I couldn’t have got in, I decided it maybe wasn’t the time. I certainly lacked the rope, the siege engines, the 18000 troops..
Today’s warscore:
Handicapped children 0, Loveable huggable Germans 30. It wasn’t exactly a fair fight.
Yeah, that’s where I went to school, and yes, we knew the history.
Today’s drive – which partly explains me only managing 9km walking:
Tonight’s hotel is a 15 storey behemoth on top of a hill. On a clear day you can almost certainly see four countries from the panaroma roof cafe, but it’s shut and I can only see three from my hotel room. This is about a quarter of what I can see from the balcony.
I’m not saying I’m high up but the sun set during dinner, and again after I got back to the hotel.