Quick quiz: Can you list all the towns in Germany that have a name beginning in X? Today I went to all of them. The northernmost part of the Roman Empire had 7% of the Roman armies based here but after the Dutch got a bit arsey the spanking they received impressed the emperor so much, he agreed to turn the legionnaire’s camp into a full scale town. Today I walked the length of that town and back again. Not that there’s much to see, most of the nearby town (including parts of its cathedral) are built from plundered stone from the ruins of Colonia Ulpia Traiana.
What’s interesting is that almost none of that nearby town is built on top of that old city. Instead the Franks settled on the nearby hill, and the Germans moved in later. So there was a large flat mostly empty field covered in grass, which in turn covers (at a depth of literally about 2 inches) an entire Roman city. They’re still digging it up.
What they’re also doing is rebuilding it as they go. They’re building in the same location, using the same traditional materials and techniques, on the same floorplans they’re finding as they excavate. It’s slow going though, they’ve only added a few buildings since I last visited around 30 years ago.
I was bemused though by the security in the museum that’s on the site. Had to lock my camera bag in a locker before they’d let me in, and then every floor and subsection of the museum had a member of staff on watch there – literally 30-40 staff in a building the size of the average single-screen cinema. Maybe the 80 or so German schoolkids in there with us would’ve ransacked the exhibits without them?
The archaeological park still has by far the greatest outdoor entertainment ever devised for small boys.
German toilets on the other hand..
Arnhem, take note: 9 EUR including parking. And as much time and entertainment as either of the attractions that cost me 27 and 28 EUR respectively in your s̶h̶i̶t̶t̶y̶ pretty city.
On the other side of the carpark is the medieval city of Xanten, or at least the medieval cathedral and a few other buildings, and a lot of Xanten rebuilt after the war. I would apologise but it wasn’t us this time (it was the fake Americans).
What’s there now is the German equivalent to Venray. A quiet open market square surrounded by attractive buildings and lined by al fresco cafes and eating establishments. In the background in Xanten is the aforementioned cathedral but where it really annihilates Venray is that it has two purveyors of Germany’s finest form of cuisine. So at 11.55am I sat down for breakfast at Eis-Café Santin. It was good. So good.
Walking back to the car I found a proper windmill that was working. So I’ve bought some flour ground there for the lady looking after my cats – her whole family seems to be constantly baking, so if she doesn’t use it someone else will. She doesn’t know about this blog so it’ll be a nice surprise for her. (I’m also bringing her apple juice, as I’ve acquired some for free. As you do.)
I took a detour to my next destination so that I could photograph a roadsign with the funny name of the nearby village on it. As it shows, that left me on the road to Kevelaer, somewhere I last visited in 1988 and found to be quite dull. But since the road went through I figured I’d stop and see if it’s any better as an adult.
Well.. I found a little more of it this time. The bits I remember are as dull and overall you’re better just going to Xanten. But! I did walk past a cafe proclaiming the finest currywurst in Kevelaer so I stopped for lunch. If you’ve never encountered currywurst then drop everything, fly to Germany and track one down. Basically it’s a bratwurst (except it’s not, the purists are screaming at me right now) covered in a barbecue sauce (which the Germans call a curry sauce, and make with curry powder, but doesn’t taste of curry) served with chips. I used to deem them a fine occasional treat and today’s hasn’t changed that view.
So a mere six hours back in Germany and I’d already completed three of the four key German traditions. The Eis Cafe and Currywurst I’ve mentioned, the third was legally hitting 145mph (worried that my car didn’t want to go above that, I’ll try again – maybe tomorrow). So just one to go.
All that took me to around 2.30pm, so I brought forward part of tomorrow’s plans and did them this afternoon. In related news, I broke into an RAF base today. It’s ok, I’ve broken into this one before (while it was operational) and this time I did it by accident. I was following the traditional shortcuts through the woods and found the buildings by SHQ (Station Headquarters) derelict with the doors open. I have urban exploration style photographs. It was only as I walked back to the main road that I spotted the ‘No Trespassing’ and ‘Private Property’ signs.
The main road had a museum on it that I’d wanted to visit. First time I’ve ever walked into a museum, looked at the four foot wide photo on the wall and gone to the curator, “Hmm. That’s me.”
Luckily she didn’t ask why I was covered in bits of pine tree – lets just say the path through the woods is less path than it used to be.
The museum inhabits a couple of buildings, one of which is still labeled Astra – the branding on all military cinemas (at least in Germany). Many a happy Saturday morning spent watching Norman Wisdom films in the one on RAF Wildenrath (it was only years later that I found out the parents paid to send their kids to the morning matinee to be assured of some ‘quality time’ together). The one at Laarbruch is where I first saw The Princess Bride (and I also drove down the road along which I cycled home, exchanging witty repartee with my friend). On Sunday I’ll be passing the place I first saw the documentary Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.
Heading back to the hotel I spotted somewhere towards which I have a great dislike.
31 years ago I was cycling past their back fence, lost balance and reached out to steady myself. The barbwire on their fence lacerated my forearm but when I went inside dripping blood to ask if I could wash my arm they told me that only customers could use their facilities. What a bunch of.. oh, it’s actually their name.
I’ve noticed my camera battery life is noticeably lower in this heat. Only 200 photos today, took out about 3 times as much battery as it should. Another 100 photos and I’d have needed my second battery! Although it was only 30C today, and yesterday I took over 400 photos on one battery. Must’ve been something different about how I was taking them.
Dinner here proved surprisingly complicated. Restaurants 1 and 2 were closed, restaurant 3 told me I couldn’t eat there, restaurant 4 turned out to be a chippy with tables, number 5 was willing to feed me but had no tables and restaurant 6 closed as I walked in. The lady there did direct me though to what she described as a steakhouse and they offered me the choice of a table indoors or out.
After that though it was an easy choice. Did I want the pork, the lamb, the pork, the chicken, the pork, the beef or the pork with the lamb, beef, chicken and pork. So obviously I went for the fried potatoes with fried eggs. After that though.. basically a mixed grill, but including words I’ve never encountered before. Raznjici from pork fillet, cevapcici, a chop, a “stir loin” steak, belly of pork, onions, tsatsiki and ajvar, served with chips, djuwetschrice and salad. Maybe I shouldn’t have said ‘yes’ to the offer of a menu in English. wtfrice?
Oh! Toxic orange rice. Why didn’t you say? (Maybe because it was quite nice rice – although not as nice as the various bits of pig scattered across the plate). Pudding was Schwartzwald Becher, which turned out to be a dish with vanilla ice cream next to a small bowl of hot cherries. So I added one to the other and had marvellous melted cherry flavoured ice cream. Why yes, I have had ice cream twice today. I’ve also walked over 16km, so I’m feeling about as guilty as a blind chipmunk eating a hazelnut.
Third cutest child of the day walked past during dinner. He stopped to rant at the waitress, while his mother begged him to follow and the waitress gave him very serious attention. They were (unsurprisingly) speaking in German so I’m not sure of the points he was making but the waitress seemed to provide him with satisfaction, so he waved and waddled off.
Second cutest was a small boy in Kevelaer. He was playing with a fountain and as I didn’t want to disturb him I took a wide berth then circled back to take a picture of the fountain. The water was intermittent so I waited for it to restart then took the photograph. Which was the same point he burst into tears pointing at the fountain. I was stood between him and his mother so I just looked at her, caught her eye, shrugged, and got a ‘no idea either’ smile back.
Cutest child of the day was a girl just about old enough to dress herself in a t-shirt that read, “I love rainbows, unicorns & ice cream.” I can’t find a picture of it but pity the poor fool operating the free wifi I’m using if they try to track my viewed pages. Although it did mean I found this.
Because of the restaurants fiasco I ended up not eating in the village I’d planned, or indeed a second one. Instead I’ve had to come into a town called Weeze, entering on a road named Weller Straße.
My address used to be Weller Straße, Weeze, Germany. My home no longer exists. The bastards knocked it down and built nice houses there instead. They also closed the railway crossing at the station so my normal route into town no longer works. I ended up exploring the rest of the former British married quarters and found out that the chippy/bar/community centre (where I first got hideously drunk, on a ‘free drinks’ new year’s eve in 1990) is now a small school. The house my first girlfriend lived in is still there, as is my best friend’s. The one with whom I had a fake air-sword fight while cycling home from the cinema.
Today’s warscore gets a bit messy.
Early in the competition the Batavians take a kicking, although they did get to ransack Castra Vetera first. Final score Batavia 2 Romans 4. The Romans drew the Franks in the next round and after three replays lost 3-2. The Franks drew the Germans and as Waterloo and two world wars have proven the French don’t do well in these encounters. Indeed, Xanten went 0-1 to the Germans.
A curious lull in the tournament before the Canadians join the fray. They spanked the Germans 2-1 then generously handed everything back again. Terrible at empires, the Canadians.
Final score is quite a recent one. Tornadoes based at RAF Laarbruch helped liberate Kuwait in Desert Storm, with the final score RAF 3 Saddam 0. Btw, go to translate.google.com, select translation from Urdu to English then type in ‘saddam hussein’. (Don’t copy and paste, and do then add a space after hussein).
Today’s drive (with greatly simplified journeys around Weeze):
Tonight’s hotel is one that fascinated me as a child. Now I’m staying there.. No aircon, which is not normally an issue for me, but would have been kind of useful when I arrived.
Relaxed day tomorrow, it’s my ‘minimal driving’ day of the trip as I wander the town that used to be my home. Which is why my alarm is set for half an hour before sunrise..