Costa Rica is pretty. That was obvious the moment I stepped off the ship, looked across the bay, saw the clouds on the mountains. That’s a landscape.

The ship was scheduled to arrive at 8am but as we left Nicaragua the captain had announced he expected to arrive at 7am. I had a lie-in, only reached the gangway at 7.30, was told they’d been tied up for an hour already but that I was the first passenger to leave the ship.

Maybe the rest had a point. Nowhere was open, just early morning beach goers and people heading to work. A 4km walk later I found a ferry, both top deck rails lined with people but cars still boarding, a long queue of foot passengers, another long queue at the ticket office.

There were cafes here, for the locals not the tourists, and I found one selling breakfast. I ordered the Pinto with Sausage and got..

It wasn’t the best bit of steak I’ve ever had but what do you expect for four quid including coffee.

The local swimming pool must’ve closed for winter. Who’d want to swim in a mere 30C in the shade.

Walking back through the downtown area I found that meant lots of little shops. Cheap clothes, school uniforms, various grocers. This is not Cannes beachfront.

Another bar, the ship in sight, shitty instant coffee but wifi access.

Others here were eating ice cream, so I found a menu, ordered a banana split. It came with cornflakes.

You’ll notice I’d also switched to beer. ‘Imperial’ is apparently ‘La cerveza de Costa Rica’ which mostly demonstrates that Costa Rica should stick to exporting coffee beans.

Interestingly that ice cream cost twice as much as breakfast – in the local currency. £7 sounds like tourist prices but I stopped here because it had (and still has) plenty of locals enjoying the ice cream; I guess that’s the going rate.

I didn’t get to the bottom of the bowl, but did get far enough to be able to share banana split, Costa Rica style.

Take a large bowl. Add two tablespoons of set strawberry jelly. Cover in diced melon. Add a scoop of red and a scoop of white ice cream. Add whole almonds. Cover in two bananas, sliced. Add cornflakes for crunch. Serve with Hershey’s Syrup, still in the bottle so that the dish remains edible.

If you’re British and avoiding the local water, also add beer. Even if the local beer is, erm, bloody awful.