I have vodka. I just don’t want to drink any today. Which is a shame as it means I’ll have to carry it around with me instead, after disembarking tomorrow. I collected the vodka just after failing to attend the kitchen tour. To get on that you need to fill in a small medical survey, […]

The stupidest thing is that Thursday evening could have been the best night of the cruise. Definitely the best meal I’ve had for a month, tomato and fennel soup an excellent prelude to the Chicken Scaloppini, supposedly ‘regionally inspired’ but quite clearly Italian not Australian. It’s not even the name that gives it away, the […]

I returned to the ship. The air conditioning in my room drove me mad, constant noise. I went for a walk, to find coffee. The lift makes noise, someone upstairs was hoovering, lots of people in the Lido chatting. On deck there’s music, on every deck the air conditioning exhausts blow loudly. I walked off […]

Having stayed up late reading, getting six hours sleep and waking in a better mood I was up on deck by 7.30am with coffee for my first look at Brisbane. Probably my last look at Brisbane too. I’m not sure we’re even in the same county. Yes, that picture includes a cluster of skyscrapers 25km […]

My body continues to want to be in New Zealand, waking up at what would be a respectable time there. Here it was 4am, and even forcing myself back to sleep only got me through to 7.30. At home I can wake up at 7.30, a cat will realise I’m awake and demand a cuddle, […]

I saw more boats in the marina when I went to find one that would return me to the ship. The police have a very large catamaran, larger than the one I eventually boarded. Back on board I could finally remove my shoes, then try and take off my socks without ripping the blister off […]

The late start today meant I could happily go back to sleep after waking at 5am and get up at a leisurely 7.30 instead. By 8am I’d had two coffees and we still hadn’t anchored, leaving me impatient to start the day. At 9.15am I decided to go and join the queue for a tender […]

Cairns city council offer city wide free wifi. This is a bad thing: Nowhere else offers wifi because the city do, but the city offering sucks. As an example, this is the city’s own website: “The server at www.cairns.qld.gov.au is taking too long to respond.” I wouldn’t mind but every site has started doing that […]

Waking up at 5am on a sea day is a waste of a good lie-in opportunity. Worse, a notice in the letter box told me that I’m being inspected at 7am tomorrow, by Australian customs. I guess I’ll pop along, say hi then just head straight ashore, if we’re there. On deck I wanted to […]

In the late 19th century a Royal Navy survey vessel formally charted an atoll to the east of New Guinea. Running out of ideas they named the islands of the atoll after the ship itself, which is why today I visited the HMS Conflict Islands. Without the HMS. This is what the Cruise Line would […]