I returned to the ship. The air conditioning in my room drove me mad, constant noise. I went for a walk, to find coffee. The lift makes noise, someone upstairs was hoovering, lots of people in the Lido chatting. On deck there’s music, on every deck the air conditioning exhausts blow loudly.

I walked off the ship. Sounds of vehicles reversing, arriving, idling waiting for passengers. I went to walk away from the dock, got stopped. No pedestrian traffic off the island. I’m trapped here, surrounded by noise.

Back onto the ship, I ask Guest Services if there’s a quiet room. The guy seemed to think the lobby in the atrium by the desk was quiet, couldn’t tell it’s full of white noise, let alone the people talking and walking past.

I’m tired, stressed, not in a good state for handling sensory overload. I’m overly sensitive, I can recognise that, but that doesn’t prevent it. Back in my cabin, trying not to damage the air conditioning. Trying not to damage myself.

If you’ve been wondering what it’s like having Aspergers, there’s your hint. Forget the social awkwardness and resultant isolation, it’s everything else that comes with that. The autistic desire to beat yourself in the head because you’re in the wrong world and can’t escape it, thwarted by the intellect to know it wont help.

I take the childish option, turn off the cabin lights and use my hands to block my ears for 20 minutes. The adult option would be a lift to deck 10 and a swifter head first descent back down to the concrete dock below. There’s a reason people with Aspergers have low life expectancy.

The ship announcement that interrupted me over, I resumed cradling my head, drifted asleep, woke two hours later. Mentally more stable, physically suffering with pins and needles in both arms.

The coffee I’d fetched was still warm enough to drink. An hour after that my body gave the warning sides of an unbalanced caffeine/food ratio but I decided to wait until dinner time before eating anyway.

We’re not due to leave until gone 10pm so before eating I popped back off the ship to post this quick update. Since I needed a photograph to go with it, have a self-portrait of my finally starting to heal foot.

Yeah, I have hairy toes. Deal with it.